Clarity is a God thing.  It is Him lifting the veil to questions asked, prayers, uncertainties, past choices and experiences.  It is a conviction from the Holy Spirit after months of praying myself, and asking sisters to pray for me.  I yearned for this clarity, so I could move forward with a focus...I've yearned for this clarity, prayed for this clarity, talked about yearning for this clarity...since January.  Months had to pass, God had so much more He needed to show me before my heart would be willing to accept this.  It comes as to no surprise that I received this clarity during a conversation with my dear, dear friend and former neighbor Brenda, one sentence from her and...BOOM, all of the puzzle pieces fall into place.  

Like I mentioned, for months I had been struggling with my photography business, wanting to grow and change, seeing that this growth is a necessary step in order for me to make a business, a career, for my family and more than a side job.  But, I was so closed off to seeing it or worrying about a misstep...I froze and did nothing.  I wrestled in my head, "What is your problem Mackenzie??"  "If you love doing this so much, why are you not working at it?"  Something just held me back, continued to hold me back.  I felt that if I go all in with building this business, revamping all that I've done for the last 6 years, I would have to give up something and there was nothing I was willing to lose.  I love that I get to capture the essence of your family, the details of your wedding day, I truly do, but I have felt very confused with all of it, the choices and changes I need to make in order for Neer and Far to thrive for my family...not just survive.  Clarity for this specific issue has graced the page of many a prayer request book, prayer request notecard, and in discussions with friends.  But, I continued to feel uneasy and foggy with how to move forward.  

Foggy and on a cliff of uncertainty.Maybe i'm being a little dramatic, but it was foggy.

That is until yesterday, August 14.

I hadn't talked with Brenda for weeks and felt like I just needed to catch up, let her know about new prayer requests, updates on the kids and Sean and ask for counsel on how to move forward this fall with what is looking to be a busy schedule with God.  A little background on our neighbors, they are the ones who told us about Christ.  They prayed for us for four years before that fateful day we knocked on their door three years ago, August 11th, and further committed our lives to Christ.  They showed us what it truly looks like to be a follower of Christ, they discipled as Paul did...they were different and God softened our hearts to accept what they had to share.  They hold a huge place in our hearts, they're family.  They welcomed us into their home, as we did for them without judgement, even before we were Christians.  They loved us like Jesus says to "love one another as you would love yourself", they mentored us, they counseled us, they encouraged us, they showed us what it means to live a godly life.  God has shown me that through the unwise decision of buying our house, He had an ultimate plan and every time I look back on it, tears spring to my eyes.  We needed them. Sometimes you don't have to look any further than right next door.  

So, I chatted with her yesterday about a variety of God things because it seems that He's always our main topic of conversation and we both love it.  I told her about my dilemma's with regard to all the awesome things going on starting in the fall.  I will be the Historian for PWOC, possibly teaching a PWOC class (if I get selected for that!), doing a Bible in a Year group and then there's also the Precept Revelation study that starts, in addition to my daily devotional, time with husband, kids and friends AND I have to work out and then there's my photography.  I have been on the fence about the Revelation study because 1) Revelation is a daunting book of the Bible and it scares me a little, 2) I have a tendency to get lost in the Precept study I'm doing now...lost in a good way ie. hours of study and 3) time, time, time.  And she said the most amazingly OBVIOUS and simple thing, "I would encourage you to take these opportunities to grow in God and RUN WITH THEM.  You have an incredible opportunity for huge growth with these women encouraging you along the way, nothing that he is asking you to do is difficult to get to.  This could be an amazing season of growth and God has put all of these women in your path for that reason...I firmly believe that."  It dawned on me that this time here with these godly, wise, Christian sisters is fleeting.  I will never be in this position again...we WILL move, they WILL move, it will NEVER be this easy-logistically speaking-to fellowship, serve, worship with sisters in Christ.  Now is my time to build my bedrock which is what I thought I was doing, but I was unwilling to accept the fact that maybe the business side of my photography needed a rest.  It's not defeat...just a different season of life.  God knows what's coming down the line for us, not me...He's put me here specifically to grow in Him to prepare my heart for the times down the road.  

I will always have my camera.  I've built a business once without God, but the next time I will seek His face in every facet of that process and it'll be strong because He is strong and through Him I can do great things, then again maybe I won't, but right now I see that I need to rest in Him, get to know Him so I can prepare my heart, my mind for future endeavors.  Some things I know, but still need to hear them over and over for them to sink in, thanks Brenda for this one, "If you decide to do this, I know for a fact that you won't look back at your time in Naples and regret spending all of that time with God and all of those women He's planted in your life."        

Months and months of fog cleared like that first day of sunshine in Seattle.  

What a glorious thing seeing the Light is...

And just three years and a couple of days from the day we received Christ, God blessed me with clarity from the woman who believed in us all along.  

Clarity is the sweetest thing. 

Grazie mille amici!

Mackenzie

Mt. Vesuvio groupie:-)

As friends sprinkle back to base after summers traveling to the States or adventuring around Europe, the question is asked, "So how was your summer?"  "What did you all do?"  Sean has a pretty tight schedule, so our travel was limited to the holiday weekends and having local fun boating, dining, and touring.  The kids had fun swimming, playing for several hours each day with our quad kids, trying out new sports like volleyball and dodgeball (go ahead..."If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball!"), taking swim lessons and working on math and writing here and there.  But, for me this summer was different than any other summer I've ever had.  Aside from the fact that we live in Italy and toured bits of Germany and Venice, I spent the majority of my summer getting to know God a little more through various avenues.  But here's a little Germany and Venice first... San Marco A Florian treat with a live orchestra! The famous lions of San Marco Ahhh Germany! Neuschwanstein Castle The Gorgeclose to Garmisch  

My most involved was the 1 Thessalonians Precept study with 4-5 days each week of an hour long study.  You know when someone sees something in you that you don't quite see in yourself, well that is what happened here.  I'll get to that though.  So, Precept, then I had my monthly InTouch publication and daily devotional that did not disappoint, as usual, and I still went to PWOC and had fellowship and discussion with the ladies that inadvertently helped me battle through the rough roads of this transition last fall.  For this post, I want to focus on Precept though.  

I had really no idea what I was getting into with this, but from the encouragement of our fearless instructor (she knew it was right up my alley), I said yes.  Precept is a ministry that "exists to establish people in God's Word."  It is an inductive Bible study that uses "the Bible as it's main source of study to learn about God's word and what the Bible teaches."  Words directly from the precept website, here:  Precept.  But the best part...how do we apply that to our daily lives...that's what counts right?  How we relate to brothers and sisters, those who believe and those who don't, those who see things maybe slightly differently that I do...how do I move forward in love, patience, kindness, joy and not fleshly irritation and pride and...well there's so many I could list.  

I tell you what, it was just what I needed this summer.  We are studying in 1 Thessalonians, five chapters...11 weeks, three weeks left.  Precept gets you deep into God's Word.  We may have been in 1 Thessalonians, but we walked all through the Bible seeking Truth through cross-references and pointed questions.  Our first meeting, I was a little concerned when our instructor handed out a package of colored pencils.  As a means to highlight keywords, the pencils became a wonderful tool.

1 Thessalonians 4I thought it was my most colorful page, I think I found my keyword groove!

We read through this incredible book of the Bible written by my personal favorite apostle, Paul, and God showed me so much more about myself than I thought was possible in just the first six weeks.  God showed me how much my pride tore me down each day, showed me that it's OK to ask him pointed questions when we don't understand something and to be READY for the answer because usually He's going to do some refining, showed me that I have something to offer but don't get proud about it, showed me that the day I die is the first day I will ever be perfect....and all of this is OK.  I just have to accept it all and "excel still more."       

Paul's callThese three words may only be seen twice in the text, but their theme runs rampant throughout the whole book.

If you're ever asked to dive into a Precept study, I would strongly encourage you to at least try...it's fun, eye-opening, a little tough, but soooo worth it!  Oh yeah, and I would also encourage you to start with a short book of the Bible....then COMMIT TO IT.

Grazie mille amici!

Mackenzie

Why do I make it so hard?  A teeny, tiny task has taken me seven years to accomplish.  I feel ashamed, pathetic.  Adin's asked me more than a few times, "why are there no pictures of me in that frame, just pictures of Emma?"  I had no answer, I just said, "We'll do it soon, I'll get a photo of you in there buddy."  A teeny, tiny task...seven years.  It's these characteristics of me that frustrate me, anger me.  I really hope I can turn it around, move toward being a more intentional creation, not one who sits and waits.  But, it's so easy to slide back into the me of the last 34 years.  Just like it's so easy for us to be mad, irritated, sad rather than joyful, forgiving, hopeful.  

As you can see I'm having a day.  I wanted space, peace.  So, while Sean and the kids watched Star Wars, I closed the door to my room and watched Sue Bryce talk about "getting out of my own way."  After that I talked to my mom, cried a little, then looked at this picture frame that has moved to three different homes and has never been updated from the photos given to us...Emma as a baby and Sean and I with her.  Don't get me wrong there are photos of Adin around the home, but what was my deal with this frame?  So, it ended there.  

Three minutes, a couple of misprints, some cutting later, we have a new something to look at.  And I bet you I will be looking at this frame several times throughout the rest of my day.  It may seem like a teeny, tiny task, but for me it's something a bit more than that.

Sometimes accomplishing the smallest tasks can do the most for our habits.

      Ciao amici!

Mackenzie