Preparation.

This one word has been bouncing around in my head for weeks.  Not bouncing around in that I was trying to figure out what the Lord meant by it, but because I had a big epiphany regarding why I was doing a specific study.  Last summer, a small group of ladies I met through the mom's group at our church invited me to join their prayer group.  After praying over the decision, I felt the Lord encourage me to join them.  This past January we started a book study from Shauna Niequist, Present over Perfect.  I flew through the actual book because she's a great writer, a lot of what she said was good to see in print and I love personal testimonies.  The book is a testimony of how Shauna was working herself to the bone trying to be everything in every aspect of her life (work, wife, kids, friends, extended friends, extended family, PTO).  After 10 years of running and pushing towards perfection, she realized that she was letting down the people that meant the most to her, her inner circle.  In between traveling for speaking engagements, writing books, "living life to the fullest", she would get home and be exhausted, snappy and not present with her husband and kids.  

I'll be honest, I didn't see myself in this book.  This is not where I am, this is not the type of person I am at this point in my life.  Have I been here, yes.  I don't like the crazy busy schedules, I think mostly because I'm not a good planner.  I live day to day, meal to meal if you will, and I really like the open schedule to provide spontaneous fun and adventure.  But, as I prepare to start another semester of school and go hard charging to graduation next May, as I look down the tunnel coated with graduate courses, 95 hours of student teaching, a clinical capstone, new and unknown pressures, and as we dove into the chapter "Yes and No," the Lord pressed on me "preparation."  

Oh, He knows me so well.  He brought to my mind the words I spoke to a friend "I can't wait to get involved in the school and community with the extracurriculars, not just teaching, but maybe coaching or newspaper or a photography club, I just so excited for those possibilities too!"  He knows that I would throw myself into everything that interests me in the name of "teaching and reaching out to these kids!"  He knows that I would "Yes" all over the place because that's what I do when I get excited about new adventures.  He knows that I needed this book, if for nothing else, then to prepare and protect me from myself as I dive into this new place.  He knows that the tools of centering prayer, Lectio Divina, spiritual direction, etc. that Shauna gives us in this workbook will help me when life becomes louder and busier that I'm used to.  He is such a good Father!

He knows the tunnels ahead, He knows mountains and the valleys, He knows what's coming.  Jeremiah 29:11 says, "'I know the plans I have for you' declares the Lord, 'Plans to prosper you not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'"  And wouldn't you know this verse runs through my mind everyday, every hour.  My daily walk with the Lord, provides me this comfort, this promise.  

Hebrews 13:20-21 says, "Now may the God of peace who brought again from the dead the Lord Jesus, the great shepherd of the sheep, by the blood of the eternal covenant, equip you with everything good that you may do his will, working in us that which is pleasing in his sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory forever and ever.  Amen."  The Lord has plans, but He won't push us into those plans ill-equipped.  He prepares us for His will, it's up to us to actually see it, trust it, and follow through with the preparation even if it doesn't make much sense.

Now I need a picture because I may not be doing photography right now, I'm still a photographer and lover of light.  Yes, these are from Italy...a piece of my heart is still there.